Domestic Violence

 Domestic Violence

  

WHERE TO ASK FOR HELP

Licensed Hotlines / Shelters, by County

  

Cayuga

800-253-3358

Ontario

800-695-0390*

Tioga

800-696-7600

Chemung

607-732-1979

Seneca

800-695-0390*

Tompkins

607-277-5000

Livingston

585-658-2660

Schuyler

607-535-9161

Wayne

800-456-1172*

Monroe

585-232-7353*

Steuben

800-286-3407

Yates

800-695-0390

*Spanish Translation

  


 

Signs of Abuse


Does your partner repeatedly:

  

  • Embarrass, insult, humiliate or intimidate you?
  • Call you or beep you throughout the day?
  • Try to control what you wear, do or say?
  • Try to control what you spend?
  • Blame you for everything?
  • Isolate you by keeping you away from your friends or family?
  • Accuse you of being unfaithful?
  • Displays extreme jealously often?
  • Threatens to hurt you or your children?
  • Force you to have sex?
  • Shove, kick, hit, bite, slap, punch or hurt you?
  • Threaten to commit suicide if you leave?

 

How do you feel in this relationship?

  

  • Feel alone and isolated from family and/or friends?
  • Feel that your partner is unhappy, no matter what you do?
  • Feel like your partner will change if you change yourself?
  • Feel like you are responsible for your partner’s behavior?
  • Feel afraid or intimidated by your partner?
  • Feel depressed or worthless?
  • Feel like you can’t do anything without your partner?

 

How do you behave in this relationship?

  

  • Do you ask your partner for permission to do the simplest thing?
  • Do you always do what your partner wants to do instead of what you want to do?
  • Do you justify everything that you do?
  • Do you blame yourself for everything that goes wrong in the relationship?
  • Do you make excuses for your partner’s behavior?
  • Do you stay with your partner because you are afraid to break up?
  • Do you try to avoid doings things because it may anger your partner?
  • Do you return to your partner because it got worse after you left?
  • Do you hide the abuse from friends and family?

 

How to talk to a friend who may be in an abusive relationship

  

  • It is often difficult to talk to a friend who is in an abusive relationship. Remember that all situations are different. Here are some suggestions on how to talk to a friend.
  • I am afraid for your safety and the safety of your children.
  • You are not alone.
  • I am here for you if you need anything or when you are ready or able to leave. Before you offer your assistance, examine your limitations and responsibilities. Helping a friend in a domestic violent situation can be difficult and you need to educate yourself on what may be expected of you. Contact a local service provider for more information or look on-line.
  • It's okay to talk about it.
  • There is help for you and your children.
  • You deserve better than this.
  • I will help you make a safety plan.

  


  

Print and Visual Resources

   

"When I Call for Help: A Pastoral Response to Domestic Violence against Women"
(National Conference of Catholic Bishops, Washington, D.C., 1992, booklet, also available in Spanish)

  

"Women Healing the Wounds: National Council of Catholic Women Responds to Domestic Violence against Women"
(National Council of Catholic Women, Washington, D.C., nd, booklet, also available in Spanish)

  

"Domestic Violence: Finding Safety and Support"
(State of New York Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence, 1995, booklet)

  

"Broken Vows: Religious Perspectives on Domestic Violence"
(Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence, Seattle, Washington, 1994, video, available in Spanish and English at Pastoral Center AV Resource Center)

 

 


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The following brochures are also available:

   

ENGLISH

Pastoral Response to Domestic Violence

Message for newly engaged or married couples.doc

Message for new parents.doc

Practical Steps.doc

Sacramental Moments.doc

   

SPANISH

GUÍA PARA UNA RESPUESTA PASTORAL A LA VIOLENCIA DOMÉSTICA

Guia para lideres parroquiales

Guia para parejas comprometidas y recien casadas 2001

Guia para personal parroquial sobre violencia domestica

LO QUE PUEDEN HACER LAS PARROQUIAS

MITOS COMUNES DE VIOLENCIA DOMESTICA